My final words

[Gulbrand]

Hi

Obviously, I left by deleting my characters. A blend of personal reasons for this, which makes it long overdue, as well as lack of reasons to stay. But I've never been the one to remain quiet during arguments and I shall make this no exception. And of course there are a few I'd like to say goodbye to, but regretfully not too many.

This is largely about raiding and the activites surrounding raiding. When I first started playing this game, I wanted to experience grouping. As I joined the Shadows and we began to do the Rift way back when, my motives for raiding quickly turned to having fun with the people I knew. It remained that way for the remainder of the Shadows of Angmar era. At the end of SOA, we had established a tight-knit group of friends, which included not only Shadows members, but of course the other alliance kins as well. For a long time, I was unsure about whether to include Moth and Flame in this group, due to the events of late spring/early summer. It was not untill the last couple of months that I knew where to place them. Their "drama-posts" were not selfish at all as is the popular belief, but honest, heartfelt concerns that never should have been ignored the way they were. I regret not seeing that before it was too late.

They were concerned about the direction the alliance had taken. About the lack of importance of friendship. They saw it over a half a year ago. They were ignored and shunned by the alliance and the problem was allowed to manifest. Never has it been more obvious than now, how right they were. I remember back in the days when Kheltan rolled for the jewelled bell. 11 people raised an eyebrow and he quickly learned his place. Now a few lootwhores have joined the alliance raids and I do not think it is necessary for me to mention their names. How have they been dealt with? They haven't been. Rather than to stand by the principles that once made this alliance so great, said lootwhores have been allowed to remain and continue as they did, simply because of the fear of not having enough people to do raids with. A rather amusing assumption really, seeing as there's still people waiting for radiance gear so they can join. There has been a valiant effort by a few kind souls to get them their gear, but not like the alliance once did. Names like Edge, Essy, Squard and Val come to mind. I've seen their efforts for their fellows. Gul had done every single deed and quest in every instance, and I'm sure the four mentioned names can say the same.

But the focus of the alliance shifted. It turned from having fun with friends, to scrambling enough people and downing bosses to acquire loot. That night I dropped the raid when Essy left just before me, I was even told off for doing so, as it "endangered the raid". I think it was pretty obvious why I left the raid. When Essy was gone, I had no reason to stay. She has been the only reason I've been playing for the last 6, 7 or 8 months and vice versa, and raiding without her would simply not have been enjoyable at all. I suppose Malth was worried about class balance or numbers and was pissed off that I could have put a stop to the raid. Such problems never stopped us back in the Rift-days. I did not agree with the new motives for raiding and I was made an outcast.

So with that, I say goodbye to the friends I leave. I wish you good fortunes and hope you enjoy yourself.

Take care,
Gul

(I meant to post this in the Shadows alliance section, but my access was removed Thursday morning)

[Achazia]

Ohh
Wow..You deleted all your characters Gul?
I remember you left the Kin one time before..And I believe you left the Kin in the heat of the moment..Bcs I remember you regretted and came back..
Ahh well I a sure you have good reasons for doing what you did (Ofc I read your above post and the reasons)  I just hope you don't regret it in future, and that you have thinked this well through.. (I am sure you have...just find it a bit sad that Gul is gone forever..)

Good luck with everything Gul.. Studying and other RL things!!!

And if you thinking on bring life to Gulbrand JR one day..I am sure many of us will welcome you back! hehe..
Have a great time Gulbrand.: And ofc is many other nice things to do than playing Lotro aswell ofc  !!!! Have fun!!
Many will miss you, me for one!
Achazia

[Padme]

Hee Gul,

You have your reasons and we have to respect that but i would like to state that i think it is a sad thing when someone cuts all ties (deleting your chars) with the intention not to be able to come back at your decision. I have enjoyed playing with ya and regret i didnt reach cap in time to raid a bit with ya to see what it is you mean (as mentioned above in your post).

Good luck and good bye (forum, other game or maybe even LotRO again with a noob char  )!

Greetz,
Padme / Caelas

[Yuroo]

Hey Gul!

When these things happen, it is very painful even to just be an ignorant and gullable bystander and get all the information when all that's been done already has been done, if you know what I mean.

I'm sad you felt you had to take this decision. I hope we will meet again, someday, somewhere.
Until then, take care.

/Zorb

[Wicked Mouse]

Hey Gulle!

It's sad to see you have decided to take the radical decision to even delete your characters. I personally would just have played more creep or even other games to cool off. But you must have your personal reasons for what you decided to do. I hope you fare well in whatever you are planning to do next. Don't be a stranger and pop by on the forum or maybe in other games  Mayb e pick up World in Conflict again (if I remember correctly that you were playing that too, when I first joined the Shadows kinship)?

Ah well, I hope all will be well

WM

[Essy]

I have pondered for a few days on whether i should even reply to this thread but felt that at least a goodbye was due.  Deleting your characters may to some look like a very extreme thing to do but i know for you it was the right decision to make.  Your feelings that you have mentioned above barely scrape the surface of how you really felt and some may think that your a immature selfish prick and a jerk for doing it but everyone has the right to their opinions.

You brought so many memorable moments to this game and i for one want to remember you for that not for being the guy that deleted all his characters.

So let me share a few that will hopefully make you and a few other people smile and maybe they could share a few too.

My first ever encounter with the famous Gulbrand was in Thorins Hall when he commented on my nice gear, this was long before the alliance was in full swing.  I had never spoken to him before or did i even know of him but it was such a nice comment and me being my usual sarcastic self asked if he was calling me a twink.

The banter in alliance chat which was normally at the expense of myself or Malth which had us all laughing for days.

Our 6 man attempt on the Balrog when the 5 other people in that group saw a totally different side to him, the side that i see every day now.  Which was also the first time we ever heard his voice, all be it him screaming over the mic when the Balrog hit the floor.

The first time i finally got him to speak on voice after many months of trying, bloody hell that was hard work and one which i did live to regret cos after that he wouldn't shut the hell up.....

An excited level 55ish guardian when i was still only around level 52 sending me tells of quick Essy send me an acorn you need to see this, do it, do it now!  To get summoned into the 21st just to see the Guardian trainer and the gear that was available for Guardians in end game.

To the day of a very close friend of mines funeral when i logged into alliance chat and said i needed a hug and a hunter from the Shadows (Barachir) came running through the gates of Bree within seconds and ran up to me where i stood on the wall and gave me a hug.

The insane pulls in the rift......

Our 2 man attempt on Ivar on minstrel and warden, that must of been at least 20 attempts over 2 days and your stubborness to do it and not give in and the feeling when we finally did it.  Let me tell you the frustration had me close to tears at one point but you picked me up and said i could do it and you were right

These are just a few of my memorable moments with you and there were hundreds more.  I thank you for making the last 6 months in game the best i have ever had.

I will miss you.

Essy

[daimon]

I am sorry it came down to this and you feel like you do. There's time and place for everything and all good things must come to an end eventually.

I remember the SoA times with all that Angmar instance stuff we used to do together. The laughs we shared, the fun we had back then. And for that a part of me will respect you and I will miss you.

Good luck with what ever is on your way during the years ahead of you



Surma of Forochel, Champion of The Shadows

[Yuroo]

I have to say I'm quite shocked and sad to see how few people have responded to Gul's last thread.
Is this it?!

No matter what reasons/grudges/differences/dramas/whatever Gul's departure involved, I can't see why it should be so hard to at least aknowledge the good times we had the priviledge to experience with him during these past months, for there were good times I'm quite sure.

How hard is it to write?
- Hey Gul, I will remember the good times and laughs we had. Thanks. Take care.

/Zorb

[Alqua]

No, it's not it.

I know that Colt and I've not been in game for a while now, and for a while that held me back from saying anything here. But reading Essy's post here meant a great deal. Gul, you've been a big part of the good times I had in LotRO, and that's what matters to me. Whatever road you take, to quote a certain loremistress, I wish you luck, love and fine things, and hope the stars will shine brightly and vibrantly on it for you.

[Gulbrand]

How hard is it to write?

I think it's down to the fact that I raised some issues in my post. Some don't dare to voice their opinion, cause they're afraid of being left out in the cold for doing so, some wants as little activity in the thread as possible, as they don't want any issues brought up at all, and some don't really mind seeing me leave.

Their preferred action is the same - to not respond.

Thanks to the ones that did respond though. I'll miss you

[Edgemoor]

The honest reason I haven't responded is basically I'm no good at saying goodbye, or even knowing what to say.  I'm pretty hopeless at that sort of thing, but it's no reason as Gul is a friend, so here goes ....

Gul's humour and banter with Essy and Haffy have had me in stitches so many times, it's made even the most mundane runs enjoyable.  Essy pretty much sums things up nicely, the insane pulls.  And of course the aggro competitions between Gul and Haffy's sticky gourd in Halls of Crafting .....  

I remember 3 manning Carn Dum castle with a certain gaurdian and and champion ....  nothing suprising there I guess.  Well unless you consider both myself and Haffy we're about level 45 or 47.  Was tough but ultimately fun  

I would like to wish you all the best in all you do, and I for one would gladly help you bring life to Gulbrand Junior or any other character you decide on, perhaps even level a new toon at the same time  

Safe travels my friend, and good fortune in all you do.

[Achazia]

I think it's down to the fact that I raised some issues in my post. Some don't dare to voice their opinion, cause they're afraid of being left out in the cold for doing so, some wants as little activity in the thread as possible, as they don't want any issues brought up at all, and some don't really mind seeing me leave.

Their preferred action is the same - to not respond.

Thanks to the ones that did respond though. I'll miss you

I think many misses you Gul! So don't look at this thread as an "answer" of what people thinks about you leaving
It may be many different reasons as you self mention above why ppl dont respond.
But when such a keymember leave after 2,5 year. (Oh my.. is it that long we have been in The Shadows together?) I choose to think about all the good times (well I can't think of any bad memories regarding you) And it was with heavy heart I responded your post earlier! Still wish you thousands of good lucks!

PS: I still have my etched beryl earing equipped crafted by Barachir named"Shining Star". Think I never will sell it! Will have it as a memory

[Essy]

That made me smile Achy, what must be 12-18 months ago Gul bought me Afraig's amulet (necklace) for my Loremaster.  She still wears that to this day and even after what must be over 50 runs to the forges to get the necklace i dont think i want it anymore.  Sometimes sentimental items are far more valuable than stats.

So Cantesa will retire from the Forges.

[Celebmegilar]

Well I did not really know you Gul.  That said, it's no reason to not say goodbye and to wish you good luck in whatever else you choose to fill your leisure time with, I hope you have as much fun as you perhaps did in the halcyon days of Lotro.

I don't claim to understand your reasons for leaving, I was not here in the kin in the days you refer to, but I understand that the percieved problems with raiding are certainly indicative with the current Lotro raid setup, rather than merely the Shadows Alliance, and I have seen others kins break up, old friends become enemies, due to this game and the way it can make some people behave.  

Blame for the current state of affairs lies firmly at Turbines door, the players who might be at fault, have simply bought into what Turbine expect them to.  I personally don't like it, but if I want to continue wandering Middle Earth, it's something I will deal with.  Unfortunately we all have a point of no return I guess, and something, somewhere was the final straw for you Gul, pushing you over the edge in frustration.  

Take care.

[Aloisa]

I have been and will continue to be sorry to not have you on raids Gulbrand. Although I have not been around all that long, I do remember a lot of good laughs... in raids and in the alliance channel too.

 Somewhere between being slow to pick things up and perhaps hopeful that things will turn out the best... I have never known of underlying problems on any occasion until a post is made on these boards. Some credit for that has to go to the people involved for keeping related discussions private and away from most peoples eyes.

 All I can really add to that is good luck for the future, and I hope you find another good place to relax and get away from all the real life frustrations as LOTRO is for many of us.

 Cheers Gul, I will raise a glass or two to good memories!

[Vinyalindo]

Mmhh, just found this thread...

Take care Gul where ever you decide to walk from now on.

Vin and his merry companions

[Banedon]

Sorry you left us gul, i will remebr the loony pulls you did  and  for somererason we usually lived dunno how that happened, take care bud and all the best  for whatever you do now

[Valcar]

Gul,

I can understand some of your reasons for leaving, you will be missed by me.  I to, have made some great friends in the alliance since I joined you being one of them.  Take care in any future endevours.  

Val

[Mugendo]

I joined the kin because of the friendly and social people that are here, I remember I even invited myself to the surprise of the people that know Mugendo in LOTRO.
I feel I am quite selfish because I take more from the kin than I give, But people understand and respect I like to keep my privacy and distance.
When Achazia left and Abergar became too busy to login the musical side of the kin, The Shades became dormant. I felt being a member of the kin had lost a lot of it's appeal to me. But every time I logged in I saw there were kinmembers saying greetings and goodnights, and discussing everything in a relaxed atmosphere. I started to feel more a Shadow than a Shade.

Though I, and Yasura do not participate in the raids we are well aware of the stress this game can place on people, I still recall the evenings of Achazia runnning around concerned for every detail of the events she inspired. And I look forward to the future ones  .
But the stress had a purpose that we accepted because we knew that the result would be wonderful...and if it had no audience (a constant fear of Achazia), it would still be wonderful because a group of friends had created something special.

I understand the reasons for you leaving, But I don't blame just the loot whores...it is unfortunate that this game is being pushed by the developers down the road to 'gear collection' and 'status displays'...and they attract the audience that gravitate to these rewards.....the impatient and the selfish. And as usual the people who want a challenge are marginalized and shouted down.
I can see there being an Orc player class and PvP in Bree before long with the direction this game is taking........
And before anyone tells me I am talking stupid....I lived through the NGE of Starwars galaxies where they were never going to have player Jedi  


I can't say anything to make the frustration go away....but I can raise a glass and toast someone I consider A fine example of someone I like to be associated with. To you Gulbrand

[Eovina]

Hey Gul.  It will take days to write something on english who will make a bit sence.. Can i take it on norwegian...? Sorry guys. But is more easier for me...

Unnskyld for at jeg er sÃ¥ treg til Ã¥ svare.. Ble bare litt overasket. Og litt tom innvendig fordi jeg har hatt det samme i tankene selv.. Ã… slette alle mine karakterer og slutte lotro... Men jeg tørr ikke Ã¥ ta det steget. SÃ¥ pÃ¥ en mÃ¥te misunner jeg deg litt. Det er utrolig tøft gjort av deg.. Jeg har dessverre blitt litt for avhengig av spillet til Ã¥ tørre Ã¥ gjøre noe sÃ¥nt enda.. NÃ¥ vet ikke jeg hva som ligger bak din avgjørelse, og samme kan det være ogsÃ¥. Det eneste som teller er at du selv føler du har gjort ett riktig valg. StÃ¥r beundring av det..  NÃ¥ kjente ikke jeg deg sÃ¥ godt, men jeg savner allerede Ã¥ ikke se noen av dine karakterer i kinnet.. Det er utrolig rart.. Litt skremmende Ã¥ tenke pÃ¥ at alt det gode tar en slutt.. Om ett par Ã¥r har vel de fleste sluttet.. Men uansett gul.. Jeg savner Ã¥ ikke ha deg i kinnet lenger... Vi bryr oss alle vet du.. HÃ¥per du kommer tilbake en dag..Og ta vare pÃ¥ deg selv da. Og kos deg masse...  

Lots of hugs from eovina